Come Join My Rock Band

The crowd goes wild. I step out on the stage and there is a roar that starts at the front of the crowd and slowly goes all the way to the end of the stadium as each person realises I have entered the arena.

The crowd goes silent as I raise my hand up in the air ready to cast the first cord on my most excellent Gee tar !!!

I bring down that unholy pick to it’s rightful place and as I do a reverb notes vibrates across the crowd and I think a few people actually fainted.

It’s okay…. It’s expected. How could they not in the prescence of my most awsomness power.

Then the hard bit comes. The drums start, the Bass player starts struming along with the Bass Guitarist and then I release into a frenzy of cord rifts that would make Mother Teresa become a groupie.

Red Blue Blue Red Red hold…….. wammy bar, star power, then red red red green green red green blue red red red red blue green green ……..

Yes, That’s right. I’m talking about Guitar Hero and it’s addictive power to make you turn from being an everyday Joe Blow to a rock star so famous, no one will ever see the like of your kind again.

I bought Guitar Hero Metallica that comes with a Signiture Guitar especially made for this game. Then following a few hours of battling it out with Kirk, I then went and got Guitar Hero 3 legends of rock, World Tour and Aerosmith editions and also a second guitar so I can rock on with Mates.

Whats sad is that I have been taken over by my 7 year old Declan who for some reason has channeled the spirit of Chuck Berry and fingers the frets quicker than a punk fingers a politician at a grassroots rally.

But that’s okay, I mean, I want the best for him, even if it is the start of a whirlwind career as a famous rock band member that is plagued with drug abuse, ex wives and 100’s of Fatherless children across the world, well then….. you go Son! You go! (Bless his heart).

Wassup with Stress?

I don’t know about you but I have a problem with stress.

Today I discovered that if you cross a new job, with a little bit of financial pressure, as well and breaking the law, and also the feeling that you are going to die and possibly the icing on the cake is that no one actually cares, you somehow get a small Cold Sore…

I mean, Come On !!!!!

So what ! So you got a new job and you haven’t got time to scratch your arse !! Get over it you pussy !!!

Oh wait. I’m having flash backs of my childhood. Which leads me to my subject. I wonder how much of your childhood comes back to haunt you when you are older? It is an interesting question.

Imagine this. Getting into your car and instructing your children to lock the doors when they buckle themselves in. You do this for a few years and eventually someone says to you “Dude, why are you, like, totally telling your kids to, like, totally lock the doors, Man?”.

Other than the fact that I have just been asked a question from someone who speaks like a 16 year old is beside the point. I started to ask myself the same question.

I pondered the scenario of what happens if I crash into a swamp, or we get hit from behind and the children cannot unlock the doors as I have instructed them to lock them before hand, blatantly sealing their death in an event of an accident before it actually happens.

Turns out that one night when I was speaking to my Mum I asked the question “why am I so f*cked with this?” which is a common conversation I have… especially with Mum… I was given the reply of “I use to tell you kids to lock the doors when you were children”.

To my dismay it was because I use to play with the handles when I was a child and my Mother was scared I would accidently open the door in a corner and be flung out the door.

Isn’t that amazing that we carry all this subconscious luggage with us into adulthood. Whow! That is totally deep.

That explains alot of things that are going on in my head at the moment.

Oh God…..

I need help.